Unexpected Goodness

The Many Heroes of Alzheimer’s: Goodness Personified

Alzheimer’s Association
Alzheimer Society

Alzheimer’s disease, sometimes referred to as “death before death,” is a cruel and lonely disease that has become increasingly common. “Most illnesses attack the body; Alzheimer’s destroys the mind — and in the process, annihilates the very self,” says noted author Jeffrey Kluger.

We want to share a few stories of the many heroes who care for someone with Alzheimer’s. They highlight the perspective they have found most helpful: a focus on the present and the positive combined with love and patience in abundance.

Rachel Smith’s father was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease when she was 26 and from that moment forward, she felt a role reversal whereby she became the parent. She has shared the wisdom she’s gained in the process: “I cherish each story he tells and conversation we have. My time spent with him transports me to a time before the disease. I share my feelings openly, and I have written about our situation, keeping a positive light on the many challenges we face. By sharing and focusing on being ‘still here,’ I find I am able to enjoy the moments that we still have.”

Kimberly Williams-Paisley has a similar point of view. She is an actress and courageous author of “Where the Light Gets In: Losing My Mother Only to Find Her Again.” Kimberly first noticed something was amiss with her mom during her wedding to Brad Paisley. She regrets and advises against complying with the secrecy her mom requested and as the embarrassment of losing one’s mental sharpness so often triggers. With the support of her husband and the Alzheimer’s Association, Kimberly found great help as well through her children. “My kids taught me about accepting my mom as a new person, because they were able to do that so effortlessly. I think kids can often live moment to moment similarly to the way someone with dementia can.”

Kathy Siggins cared for her husband, Gene, who had a 13-year battle with Alzheimer’s. As friends stopped visiting and every aspect of their lives changed, Kathy felt frustrated, isolated, and fatigued. One day after driving her vacuum into the drywall, she realized her husband couldn’t change but she could. She turned argument into acceptance and embraced her role as caregiver while finding a support group to care for her own feelings. The positive changes led to positive results, and Kathy was able to care for her husband in their home for over 12 of the 13 years he lived with the disease. Upon his death, Kathy channeled grief into gratitude, working with other Alzheimer’s advocates to create a fundraising stamp for Alzheimer’s disease.